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THINKING OF A MOVE TO DUMAGUETE part 1

Dumaguete city of choice for expats in the Philippines

Thinking of a move to Dumaguete City, part 1

The Philippines leading destination for settling Expats

In response to my post about Dumaguete City, I received an email with this query. I would like to share it with you guys as well as my response. I will be breaking down my response to this over several days and hopefully give people a good idea what to expect should they choose the Philippines, and specifically Dumaguete City as their next home.

fyi: Forbes magazine has just ranked Dumaguete City as the 5th best place to retire to in the world

For more information on living in Dumaguete or anywhere else in the Philippines, please contact me at http://gord@philippine-expat.com

I am seriously thinking of a move to Dumaguete and would be interested to know your experiences of living there. I am presently living in the UK and have absolutely no experience of living in another country and have not traveled to any even for a holiday in the last 44 years; so I expect a lot of culture shock.

 

lol, yes , there will be culture shock , but some of it very good.

How, to begin,,,lol

Are you single or in a relationship? why I ask that is depending on your answer, your experience here will differ. To be blunt, like myself, most people who have settled in the Philippines and especially Dumaguete are middle aged to older single men who have not been able to find a relationship that works for them in the western world. The reasons for that I guess are not important but when we have come to this country, an amazing thing has happened. We are now desirable to the opposite sex.

Some people are cynical and automatically think that it is because of money, but the actual dynamics are a whole lot more complicated. Filipina women, and I speak here in general, are looking for financial stability, both for themselves and their families, but also looking to just be loved and respected with kindness , care and tenderness. Looks , age and finances do not seem to matter to them as much as just whether you are a good and responsible man. As an aside to these statements, I will not deny that there are some gold diggers,like in any country and culture, but if you are smart and honest with yourself, you will quickly see those for who they are and from there it will be up to you to make your own responsible choices. If you are 60+ , and expect an 18 year old girl to be madly in love with you for your looks, you are probably deceiving yourself and will most likely get burnt.

I myself am 53 years old , past my prime in the looks department and of humble means financially, but now am married to a 29 year old, knockout who is smart, kind and caring. And best of all she absolutely loves me. I never thought I would have a relationship like this again in my life and have complete faith that if I want , it will last until the day I die. Living back in Canada, I would not have been this fortunate. I also know more men here than I can count who have had this same experience and though I do hear some sad tales from some guys I meet, they are in the absolute minority and in most cases the men have to accept responsibility for allowing themselves to be in those situations.

Another mistake that most of us men have made is thinking that a filipina will wait on us hand and foot like a servant and not expect anything in return. That is hardly the case. She has her role , which is to take care of us in certain ways , but we also have a clear and defined role as to what we need to do to take care of them. Relationships are 2 way street here and that is what I believe in and felt was lacking in the relationships I had with western women. It is also important to note that Filipino family culture is matriarchal in nature and that the head of the household is usually the women. This culture breeds very, very strong women. They will love and take care of you, but do not expect them to be docile servants. Works for me,,lol.

 thinking of a move to Dumaguete City

 

Don’t know if this helps you at all , but feel free to ask questions . If you are in a relationship and she would be coming with you, let me know and I will let you know a little from that perspective as there are definitely retired couples of western men and women who have settled here for entirely different reasons.

maybe tomorrow I can go into a little bit broader detail about Filipino culture overall and how it affects us , good and bad, on a daily basis as expats here.

Gord

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